ItalianoThank you, Grandmother…
DEAR MY G-LOVERS
My thoughts can be read
on the GACKT Blomaga,
so those who want to read all of them, check it out.
(Updates thrice a month)
http://ch.nicovideo.jp/channel/gackt
I move the fader.
I hear my breath.
I’m letting my voice out again today.
It seems like I can sing a good song…
The recording session has reached a high point.
I’ve written a song that’s fitting for the LAST VISUALIVE.
I wonder what kind of Live it would be.
My spine tingles just from thinking about it.
I’m shaking with excitement.
The lyrics and melody have turned out well.
I’ve been trying to get the lyrics right
for the past 4 months but
strangely enough, I completed them all in one day yesterday.
It’s really odd.
When it doesn’t come, it simply won’t come
but when inspiration really hits it all gets done in a moment.
Even for the melody, I had quite a hard time,
but the final result was more wonderful than I expected.
I should be able to
deliver this song to everyone around September.
So imagine the many possibilities,
and I promise to deliver a wonderful song beyond your imaginations.
Outside, it appears that a shitty story about ghost writers have surfaced,
clearly its stupid…
On the other hand,
do people in the world really have so much free time?
There’re too many idiots…
I’m not in the mood
to deal with such idiots…
A few days ago, my grandmother passed away.
She was 105.
She’s lived a long life.
The news came suddenly.
A hasty call came from Okinawa,
saying that she coughed up blood and passed away soon after.
I couldn’t adjust my schedule,
so I couldn’t make time for the funeral, but
I headed to Okinawa anyway because
I wanted to see her face for 10 minutes and say my farewells.
When I returned to Okinawa,
I didn’t feel excited as I normally would.
My older sister also barely said anything,
and the atmosphere was really heavy.
This time, I boarded the plane
with my older sister and my nephew, Yoshito,
but there was little to no conversation in the plane.
When we went out,
it kept on raining.
To change the heavy atmosphere,
I began talking to my nephew.
“She’s lived a long life.
It’s not a sad thing…”
“Yeah… I guess so…”
To a boy who has yet to reach 20,
no matter how much you rationalise,
the death of someone will always be difficult.
For me, until now,
I’ve seen the passing of many friends, one by one.
They’ve taught me
the meaning of living my life.
Humans are sad beings,
only through the death of someone
can we truly understand
what it means to live.
Such is understanding.
When we arrived at the funeral hall and entered the room,
people were running around in hurry.
They wanted to wash her body,
but they stopped to give me 10 minutes with her.
To my grandmother who looked like she was asleep,
I said to her over and over again,
“Thank you for your efforts…”
She’s lost weight.
My grandmother who had unbelievably fair skin
was known for her beauty in her youth.
After marrying my grandfather, whose life was full of ups and downs,
she worked hard for the family and
continued to firmly support my grandfather.
Even after my grandfather’s passing,
she continued forward on her own
as the head of the family for the next 20 years.
I’ve always been proud of my grandmother
and whenever I returned to Okinawa, she would smile and say
“Ah~ Akisamiyo…” [Okinawan expression of surprise]
for some reason, while holding my hand.
If I said “stop that!”,
she’d smile and reply with, “Why?”
Apparently, next to my grandmother’s hospital bed,
there would be a body pillow with my picture on it.
If it was even a slight bit crooked,
she would say “It’s crooked!” and scold my aunts.
My grandmother was considerable filled with KiAi.
Sometimes she would gather the family
and give a dressing-down to anyone she had unsettled business with.
Even while she was hospitalised,
even to the very end,
she never complained about hurting.
She basically hated whining.
My grandmother taught me many things.
She was a really nice person with a lot of pride.
When Mai heard about my grandmother’s passing while overseas,
she broke down crying over the phone.
She was a really wonderful grandmother.
When various gossips arose,
she would normally say
to my panicky aunts
“Leave it be…”
and nothing else would be said.
When I met her,
she would murmur with smile
“Really… What a mess…”
But she would never say more than that.
She has always supported me like that.
I’m thankful for it.
She believed in me more than anyone else.
That’s why I’ve worked hard all this time.
I spent about 15 minutes with my grandmother,
then it was already time to catch my flight.
As it is, I headed back towards Naha Airport.
As I was about to board,
my Okinawan friends came after me out of worry.
They tried to lighten up the atmosphere
and made me laugh while joking around
in english.
I’m grateful for that.
You could say it was like a homecoming of sorts.
This was the shortest period of time I’ve been back for but
it was good to be able to say my farewells.
It also felt good to be able to convey my gratitude.
The next day
I was told that my sister and family
were able to send my grandmother off without incident.
To be honest, I don’t feel sad.
I’m filled with feelings that want to thank
the grandmother who has supported the family on her own for
her efforts and want her to just rest well from now.
After returning to Tokyo,
many thoughts welled up as I
re-entered the recording phase.
For men and women,
each person has their own battles.
To live on,
you have to fight on seriously.
To face your own weaknesses,
and battle on tirelessly.
I want to dedicate this song to my grandmother.
My name is GACKT
and my motto is “Mr. Soldier”
I’ll fight on to the end.
GACKT
My thoughts can be read
on the GACKT Blomaga,
so those who want to read all of them, check it out.
(Updates thrice a month)
http://ch.nicovideo.jp/channel/gackt