GACKT OFFICIAL BLOG: For the first time in 16 years, New York

GACKT Official Blog update. Translation below:

In the end,
I woke up at 5:30 a.m. on the morning of my departure from LA.
I should avoid morning departures from here on.
I think this might be largely because of being jet lagged

I went to the airport to make sure that I won’t be late but,
I was too early and there’s nothing to do.
No,
if I look for something to do there’s a few.
But the inside of the airport was so unusually cold that I couldn’t stay still.

In the past, I thought the same thing too and decided to arrive at the airport at the last minute…
I just remembered it again.

I would forget the reasons for my habitual actions
and just continue keeping these habits.
This isn’t cool.

I have to properly remember
the reasons for my actions enough that I can talk about it.

It’s the first time in awhile that I’ll be the first one to board the plane, and I walked down the corridor.
For some reason, I felt a little embarrassed, and waited for a few people to pass by.
I wonder how many times I have boarded the plane this early…
I sat down and started reading a book but we weren’t taking off.

“Do they normally wait this long to take off…”

I looked around in the plane.
What stood out was that United’s cabin attendants are exceptionally aged after all.
It might have something to do with company policy but anyway on the whole, they move slow.

Anyway,
I wonder how long has it been since I last went to New York…
I get the feeling that I haven’t been there since that terrorist attack.

At that time, it was because when I was writing “Jyuuni Gatsu no Love Song (December Love Song)”,
I had a lot of thoughts about the terrorist attack.
I didn’t have the intention of talking about what, or who, is right or wrong but,
it was a song that hoped, at the very least, with so many people losing their loved ones,
that the world would have one less of such tragic incidents,
and prayed that people would be able to always live in peace with their loved ones.

Back then, it was right after the terrorist attack,
and when I decided to go to New York to film,
the opinions of the staff were split in half, and there were those who didn’t want to go too.
In the end,
the number of my staff was halved,
but despite that, I decided to go with the staff who were left.
I still haven’t forgotten what the local staff said
when we met them.

“Thank you for coming!
Let’s not forget about this and create a great work!”

During the staff meeting before we travelled,
opnions were completely split in two.
It’s not a bad thing that
there were staff who were against travelling,
it’s only natural that they would find it scary.

Everyone lives with their own opinions.
What they’re afraid of also differs from each other.

I’ve been asked
“Were you not scared back then?” but
to me, the scariest thing in life is

[When you know that you have to move
but you hesitate and can’t move]

That’s the scariest thing.

Because I live by believing in my own convictions,
there is nothing more terrifying than
being unable to move when I have to.

Back then,
when I saw Ground 0, tears started flowing without any reason.
I came to understand that this is what it means to be at a loss for words.
It’s been 16 years since then.
The world is still moving in the direction of chaos.
I wonder when this will stop happening.

I thought about this on the plane.

In the blink of an eye, I arrived in the airport.
Alright then…
I wonder how I’ll be spending my time in New York from here.
You might as well say I don’t have a plan at all.