GACKT OFFICIAL BLOG: I've turned 44.

GACKT Official Blog update. Translation below:

Somehow,
I was able to celebrate
my 44th birthday without incident… (I don’t know if I can safely welcome tomorrow though).

This one year has had a lot of hellos and goodbyes.
Upon reaching this age, I remember feeling gratitude over sadness
when it comes to sudden farewells.

Farewells are indeed sad but
it’s a miracle that we were able to meet in the same era like this.
This may sound like an exaggeration but
I started to feel this way since I passed the age of 30.

Maybe it’s because of my line of work but
with appearances making people like me look younger than they really are,
when a conversation starts to turn towards their own age,
many will say
『It’s nothing to do with age! It’s just a number』.

Of course,
I believe they said it with good intentions but
this is what I think when that line is being said.

It’s related to age.
Age is not just a number.
I think that 【Going through life as a list of numbers makes history】.

To me, I can’t lightly think of it as “just a number”,
and there has been a variety of events for each year.
There have also been many things that caused feelings of pain and frustration.
On the other hand, there were many events that overflowed with smiles.
There have even been events where
I couldn’t stop crying, not because of sadness, but because of joy.

This, too,
is because of the overflowing compassion and graciousness
of the people around this human that I, GACKT, am.

I really think that I am blessed with friends.
Of course,
I might not be a person with many friends.
I sincerely think that the number one asset in my life
is having friends who spur me on when I’m in all kinds of troubled situations.

Today, I celebrate my 44th birthday,
and the words that my partner said resound in my heart.

『Y’know, Waka, I’ve been thinking,.
the number 44 is a good one.
It’s an age that you have to brace yourself for in a real sense.
I’m not saying that you have to pose as a senior (senpai)
but having turned 44, you need to be seriously prepared for the rest of your life.
Of course,
Waka may have been prepared a long time ago but
when it comes to life, the fact is that 【no one prays for the dead】right?
If you’re not prepared this in the first place, you’ll end up so scared that you can’t do anything.
Much of what Waka has done thus far
may have indeed been absurd but they have never been foolish.
I think that what you’ve achieved was possible because you were prepared.
That’s why, now, this once, please keep these words in your heart.
You can be absurd but never do anything foolish that may destroy your body.
I say this because it feels like Waka might just suddenly disappear…』

Just like this, the words of my careful life mentor and partner, who’s older than me,
sank deep into my heart, mind, and body.

But,
once again, this is what I think.

I understand my own character very well.
Decreasing my pace of life or living conservatively,
makes me clumsy so I want to go as far as I can before I die.
I want to be a person who is always smiling even when I fall apart.